Among others - a Labels' side tone

I would have really wanted to soak my battered body against the sudden flow of the raging rain but the mask of stroke clinched tight around my body. Agog to go out helplessly, I just decided to stare outside at the endless water falling down from the sky. I was suddenly reminded of many things.  Among them is equality.

Your name, age, status in life and label doesn’t mean a thing. These are just mere products of our rich culture that identifies, groups, classifies us according to size, shape, type and various unreformed details. And its inability and lapses causes confusion to people.

Equality spectacularly wards all these off as it chooses no one. It drains us like rain without boundaries or limits. Enough reason for it to be squared with our respective relationships. Again, as long as the relationship is fair, giving, forgiving and loving, equality runs through its veins.

What happens when there’s an involved issue? Approaching the same with deeper understanding from both ends and proper solution to address the impeding matter will surely iron things out. Being just also coincides with being equal. Acceptance is also a relative and there’s this single recipe that binds it all – Love.

Labels - the return

I admit, that in as much as I wanted to arose from the depths of ‘’being unto being’’, I am actioned and called back by my peer’s frame of thoughts to delve again and subjectify things that heed alteration or otherwise.

The question on the amount of love given and its intensity is impeccable. But the fear of losing and being afraid to let your deeds fly out is nothing but a nightmare. Indeed you may find somebody worthy for you but the hands of time goes rapidly. There might be overwhelming moments but the mind is so attached that even gravity pushes it back where you belong.

Options are not for asking. ‘Labels’ is not an issue. True love is. The choice is yours and no amount of pressure can penetrate it. The facets of love given and shared alone are strong principles for consideration. Sad, but it’s true. But it’s that feeling that we experience. We’re alive after all.

Afar

I came across and stumbled on a man’s expression of feelings towards a woman. Simple as it may sound, deconstructed it may look and may defy the laid down literary rules, the layman’s term presented plans to at least touch our hearts.

Hoping against all hopes

The mere look in your deep set eyes

Your stare, your glance, can’t help but lie

Awe I can’t deny

Thoughts of you make shiver

How I wish, much better

If both of us together

But this is just an illusion of mine

There’s just an imaginary line

That sets me off way far behind

Am definitely a no for your league

Likened to a brass and a stick

But with a heart for you so big

I’m contented that this feeling remain

Let no storm or heavy rain

As I watch you, my dear...in vain

Tatay

Yesterday was a day so relevant in my life. Unknowingly, it has been almost twenty years since he passed away. He would have turned 75 years old by now. Yesterday was my father’s birthday. Off-tuned chants of birthday wishes must have blown our house this time caused by alcohol spirits consumed by his friends. Relatives and neighbours alike, comes by to show docile to my father.

But the blithe that my father had in his face completely turned to a melancholy frown when a brain tumor was finally diagnosed. The chant and the crowd slowly faded. Accompanying them was my father’s dream. He was not able to finish school that’s why he wanted me to realize what he left undone. Since I’m the eldest, he expected more favourable results from me. He wanted me to be a lawyer. He worked his guts out in order to give me and my sisters the best education available.

Circumstances were mean to us that I wasn’t even able to show him my pre-law diploma. He slipped away from me 3 months prior to my graduation day. All I did was to gather my strength as small drops of tears fell down from my afflicted eyes.

I’ve suffered and survived 2 strokes, but that moment is still vivid in my mind. He may be gone but July 12 won’t be erased and removed. I miss you, Tatay!

Bursts...

It caught me helpless and cornered

Heart left bruised and battered

Clouds I saw no more

Smiles, I now abhor

Death constantly inviting

Its stench incurring

Sanity fooled around

And danced around

Bones became brittle

So as hopes dwindle

Is there to look forward to

Aftermath, better adieu

Lessons learned

Earned and badly burned

Funny how, I still exist

All of those, as it is

Determined, focused

Though entirety abused

Willed to be an example

In overturning life’s hurdles

Touching lives what I intend

The purpose that God sent

Draw out those facets

Be it bold to the tiniest

Free or not

As long as it demands be taught

Self-expression?

More of one’s attention

Freedom?

Defiance, seldom

Brain exercise?

Absolutely, it makes me wise

Just let me, your wheelchaired man

Make you, move you and affect you

As I can

Prelude to rewards...

I recently just concluded a no-holds bar interaction with close friend of mine who was so lively, charismatic and deeply. Her life and love is everything to her. A show of human’s need for affection and the ability to give all possessions. Sacrifice. I remember an elderly man from the church in one of his speeches. He said that sacrifice is not doing the thing that you wanted most in a particular time just to give others the chance to do it. It’s really a matter of choice. The decision must emanate from within you.

I suddenly begrudged the man behind her. Words are not wise enough to describe the amount of love and sacrifice she is giving. She doesn’t care if it goes back right at her or not. She does not even mind the lingering repercussions of her doings. It feels so great that she does not mind everything that’s happening around her.

The mere fact that you’re sacrificing is a huge self-control on your part. Your ability to give way to others that needed it most. Your ability to endure endless pain while someone’s not. Your willingness to swap positions and empathize with others. God-like, is how we classify it.

In our busy and complicated lives, we stumble upon challenges. Challenges that require sacrifices to change us. Sacrificing ourselves wholly surely reaps great and favourable rewards.  

Life

The tranquil and serene air joined by the passing away of an idol, suddenly taught me an extra-dimensional viewpoint of life. The idea of that nothing is permanent. Everything in this world ends. True, isn’t it? Life is not perfect for it ends eventually. I remembered a philosophical example of our journey. You climb up a stage, then, you try to stare at everyone watching you. Then, you display a gorgeous and gallant vow. A stare again after that brave move, then you ascend the stage.

In the stage of life, every moment counts so treasure everything. The stare and that vow signify the things you can offer the world. Make them lasting and memorable. So your ascend can gather praises from everyone as a celebration of life.

Labels- the conclusion

Getting up very in order to amend and probably bemoan my momentary loss of ideas worried me. There’s this twitch in me to deal more on a friend’s remarkable bubble of existence together with someone. I’m making it less right now. I would try to give a little twist to this labelling chant just like any movie brain would. Forrest Gump once said that life is a box of chock’laits, you’ll never know what you’ll get, so it’s a complete pile of stinking shit this time.

What if you suddenly wake up one morning feeling nothing? It’s impossible, but this cheap reason sometimes does happen. The presence of a third party, whether willed or not, is also a possibility. Social, filial and such other equally important factors must also be considered. Or is this under the clock?

In the end, all your efforts, sacrifices and heartfelt prayers in keeping your relationship standing mightily over those sprains will survive.

I envy those who are determined and eager enough to showcase their undying and dedicated affection to their beloved. Love truly needs no amount of label. It just classifies the doze of love and further restricts the parties involved. Labels are only most effective in drugs or medicines. Love doesn’t need drugs or medicines. A dedicated and devoted sharing of one’s self without any conditions is more than enough to cater to what our heart truly needs, love that is.

Dreams...

As the chain of compacted rain falls outside my lone and creepy room, the noise it created allowed my mind to wander momentarily. I first checked that I’m not hallucinating or experiencing another seizure. It was more of a dream. I had those when I was medically sedated. Dreams and flashes of reality, of death, of going far away and those aren’t real and considered vaunts of delusion. I interpreted dreams with impossibility for that is the only helpless thing I know. Unknowingly, sanity nearly left me. Paranoia sat beside my bed trying to snatch a piece of my sane consciousness. But my mind strictly focused on my dream of getting back to where I was before. It still remains. I wish I could interpret my own dreams and instantly turn it to reality. For now, the wheelchair is my pal and you are the only witnesses on how willed, zealous and determined I am to fight for my dream.

Leybel- Ika-apat na bahagi

Ipagpaumanhin ninyo ang aking panandaliang pagyakap at pag-gamit sa aking sariling wika. Ito’y marahil sa aking kawalan ng mga angkop na termino, nararapat at kaukulang mga salita na syang nagiging hadlang sa aking masalimuot na paghimay at pagsusuri ng paksa sa aking harapan. Muli, humihingi ako ng inyong pang-unawa.

Pagmamahal. Isang kataga na marahil ay hindi hinihingi ngunit naibibigay ng kahit nang sinong nilalang. Ang malayang pagbabahagi nito na may ka-angkop na sakripisyo ay higit na hinahangaan. Ang tunay at wagas na uri ng pagmamahal ay hindi kaylaman makikita, mababanaag o maisasalansan ayon sa uri, bagkus ito ay tangi lang mararamdaman. Ito ay sadyang kapos kung kulang sa naaayong tugon. Makapagbibigay lamang ito ng naka-ambang dusa kung ang pagmamahal ay hindi buo at ganap sa nais nitong ipahiwatig. Kaylan lamang ay nakahagip ako ng isang nagmamahalang nilalang. Masasabi ko mula sa isa sa kanilang tagapagsalita na ito’y natural, puro at sadyang dalisay na maging mga tula at awit ay ‘di pupuno sa taglay nitong kaayusan. Hindi marahil sapat ang maiksi ko’ng pagpalaot sa mundo ng pagmanahal, ngunit ang lakbay ko’y hindi pa tapos...

Ako ma’y mahibang, mawalan ng ulirat,

Sa puso ko’y tanging ikaw ang siyang saad

Kamatayan man, saki’y tumambad,

Diwa mo naman nakaukit sa ‘king palad

Basta’t tayong dal’wa,

Puso’t layunin iisa

‘di alintana sabi ng iba

Ano? Anong label, label pa?

Ang higit na mahalaga

Mahal mo ‘ko, mahal kita!

Label-Part III

For My Archangel....

Everything came so easy.
You're keeping me warm
Crashing down in,
You're making me smile.
I never felt so wanted,
You're taking me home.

Don't give back,
I miss you, I kiss you,
But nobody knows.

Too much to ask
Something between us
Sweet beginnings, sweet endings.
I'm your side
But I can't spell it out
Meet me halfway, I could be the same for you

-T3

It is quite simple though challenging, to keep an unlabelled love relationship going. The amount of selfless sacrifice counting to doing every possible thing just to make the idea of labelling drift among the fads of culture is immeasurable. The imaginary line that labels every love relationship vanishes with much affection and intimacy shown. Two souls liking each one’s company is enough reason to manifest pure and unblemished love. It exemplifies simplicity but the deepness of one’s affection still shouts. Existentially logical for everything exists in mind. The simple poem above tells how time and circumstances modifies a single life. Being in an unlabelled relationship and of course, being in love. 

Label-Part II

I feel that this is inevitable. Life would be all bland for one not to undergo this. You would die meaningless and of self-centeredness missing the peace and joy it brings. It is how I initially define relationships. For me, it is a transcendental vision of what we are. It is an extension of who and what we want to be. Piles of books have been presented; relationship tips, relationship know-how, building relationships, love and relationships, etc. But if we look closely, it all sums up in knowing yourself first. Benefitting from that intense relationship with yourself is absolutely the one most worthy of that love. Label that love relationship between you and yours alone. There is so much affection and understanding needed than emphasizing on society’s ‘label’ pressure. To love wholeheartedly in a relationship definitely needs no label. As my friend would put it, ‘’GOW’’. 

Label?

As I was about to take my medicines, I suddenly noticed its label. Those labels speak of what they are or what they stress of. My consciousness brought me to an endeared friend of mine whose belief in labelling one’s relationship is just a product of a modern inquisitive assuring society. Her acts and his, stands alone as labels. Labels that is more to than friendship, exceeds the effort of caring and dismantles the rules of affection. The act of giving yourself so that the other feels it and vice versa is a label in cloak. It maybe sillier to think but that’s how love affects our own unique lives. True love doesn’t need distinction or labels. Just what Christ taught us: love unconditionally. To end, I would like to share my friend’s endearing tagalong poem which demonstrates her unlabelled but heartfelt emotions for her man.

''laging nagkakaintindihan

laging nagkakaunawaan

laging masaya

basta't magkasama

ngit, halakhak, at tawa

kadalasan sa tuwina

hindi nagpapabaya

magkatuwang sa lahat ng problema

magkaibigan nga ba

o sadyang pinipigilan

ang damdaminng tunay

na dapat sa isat-isa ay ialay?

bow...’’

Label? Anyone?